Lauren at CHONY pre-transplant
I will admit that I did not truly understand or appreciate the meaning of Thanksgiving before this year. For me, Thanksgiving was about finding the perfect turkey, scouring the pages of Bon Appetite for the best side dishes, eating dinner with those I loved, saying a blessing over the meal, and then bracing for the holiday gift buying rush.
It is a life altering experience to have an 8 yr old child in the ICU on cardiac and respiratory life support awaiting a heart transplant. While she was held in a drug induced coma, I had many days and nights to reflect on how we lived our life. It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle/bustle of the day. I realized I had let many things slide through the cracks. My career was important and I loved it but it secretly put a wedge between me and my family. I was caught in the desire to succeed. In an instant, as my daughter’s health went from perfect to failing, the perks that went with the career suddenly meant nothing. All that mannered was the health of the little girl whose face peeked out from behind the blanket. I realized I had not spent enough time with her. I realized even though my son excelled in school and swimming, he still needed his mom and was so worried about his sister. The things that I had worked so hard to acquire meant nothing, indeed, I wished I had none of it, it was truly not important at all.
Our children’s pediatrician had said to me many times that the most important thing in life is your health. How true is this? I wrote constantly about the days spent in the hospital. I journaled almost every day. I think this entry sums things up…. Read more
